Karen Robards: Shameless

Shameless: C
Elizabeth Banning & Neil Severin
The Banning Sisters Trilogy #3
Historical - Regency

Lady Elizabeth, the youngest and most headstrong of the three Banning sisters, has been engaged three times, and has most scandalously broken off all three engagements. Her fear of becoming any man's property has kept her from marriage and earned a reputation in the ton as a heartbreaking flirt. Neil Severin is a wicked rogue, black of heart and black of reputation. A man of no morals, devoid of compassion, he is a government-sanctioned assassin. And his newest target is a man Beth holds dear. When the flame-haired beauty thwarts his plan, Neil exacts his own brand of spicy revenge. Beth despises him. Neil doesn't care. But circumstances most unexpectedly throw them together, and with Beth's life in danger, Neil finds himself in the unexpected role of hero, racing to save her before it's too late... (back cover)

Here are some facts:

1. I have read all three of the stories about the Banning sisters.
   
2. I loved the first one: Scandalous.
   
3. The second one, Irresistible, was pretty cliched and uninteresting.
   
4. The third - this story - is slightly more interesting but still pretty cliched.
   

OK. End of review.

Just kidding... sort of.

What more to say about this novel other than the fact that I've been waiting years and years for Beth's story only to have it sort of peak and then plateau into an abyss of semi-blandness?

I liked Beth, though I couldn't really relate with her unwillingness to have any man be her master. I mean, I knew she was headstrong and stubborn, but when I read Scandalous (book 1), she was but 15. What 15 year old isn't headstrong and stubborn? Ms. Robards neglects to delve into Beth's psyche as to why she dislikes marriage. What we know about Beth's cruddy family situation is from past books... and authors cannot rely on back information from other books to support the current story. Besides, I never got Beth's perspective on it. (In this aspect, Meredith Durant did a better job in explaining Mina's absolute insistence on being her own person in Written on Your Skin. )

And I liked Neil, but only in the most vague and superficial manner possible. As in, he fulfilled the part of the cold, heartless assassin in a manner that was most expected. Cliched, I suppose.

Surprisingly, the adventure was enough to keep me reading without sighing in irritation and without copious amounts of eye-rolling.

HOWEVER!

The way Ms. Robards ended the novel was bad. As in, without the epilogue, there would be no happily-ever-after. In essence, she didn't end the story: the epilogue was the last chapter of the novel. Why she labeled it as an epilogue is beyond me.

Authors, 'epilogues' are not used as last-chapters. It is a step beyond the end of the story. It's the "what happened after the happily-ever-after? Where are they now?" chapter, not a "let me finish the story."

Let me explain myself another way.

An epilogue is a bonus feature that can be taken out without adversely affecting the story. The story will still have an ending without the epilogue.

Without the epilogue at the end of Shameless, it would have felt unfinished and would have been highly unsatisfying. This is the point I would add in the WTHeck?! This is Ms. Robard's, like, twentieth book. I would think she knows all this already......

Regardless, the entire story proves to be a most average sort of story.

Bottom line: Read, I suppose, but don't buy.

review roundup

Instead of having an individual post for each average novel, I have decided to lump them together. For books that I felt were better or worse than average, I will have a separate entry.



Candace Camp: Swept Away
Grade: C+
Historical - British Regency
Julia Armiger & Deverel Grey, Lord Stonehaven

Deverel wrongly accuses Julia's brother of stealing funds from a trustee fund. After her brother's death, she is determined to clear his name by getting close to Stonehaven. Of course, the only way she can do this is to seduce him.

Though the mystery and Julia's pursuit to clear her brother's name wasn't an eyesore to read, the relationship between Julia and Deverel was slow and superfluous. It took so long for Julia to convince Deverel of her brother's innocence that I had already given up on the mystery: who cares about the mystery? Let's just get this show on the road. This, of course, is never a good feeling to have while reading a happy romance.

Bottom line: read if bored.




Elizabeth Boyle: This Rake of Mine
Grade: C
Historical - British Regency
Miranda Mabberly & Lord Jack Tremont

Jack mistakes Miranda for his mistress, and in a very public place, kisses her, succeeding in ruining her. She disappears and comes back nine years later with as a decorum teacher with a new name at an academy for young ladies. She is given the responsibility of escorting three students home when they find themselves stranded at Jack's rundown estate.

The three girls try to set Jack and Miranda up, Miranda suspects Jack of being involved in some shady business, and then a lot of things happen in which they discover their love for each other anyway.

I'm not especially fond of Ms. Boyle's writing style, but it was readable. What I am interested in are the books to follow this one. Clearly, each of Miranda's charges will get their own book and I'm curious about their story.



Karen Hawkins: An Affair to Remember
Grade: C
Historical - British Regency
Anna Thraxton & Anthony Elliott, Earl of Greyley

I read this a month ago and I cannot really remember what happened... I think something about Anthony inheriting five unruly orphans and he hires Anna as their governess. She, who was once a peer, has to now work her for her wages since her grandfather (I think grandfather... some male figure) has wasted it away.

I actually can't remember why Anna and Anthony are at odds with each other and why they don't just hop together in bed at the very beginning. It might have been Anna's independent and stubborn nature and it might be Anthony's.... I can totally be making this up.

Seeing that I can't remember what happened a mere couple weeks after having read it, the read itself wasn't entirely thrilling.


Happy Thursday!

Julia Quinn: What Happens in London

What Happens in London: C
Olivia Bevelstoke & Hero (Harry Valentine)
sequel to The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever

When Olivia Bevelstoke is told that her new neighbor may have killed his fiancee, she doesn't believe it for a second, but, still, how can she help spying on him, just to be sure? So she stakes out a spot near her bedroom window, cleverly concealed by curtains, watches, and waits . . . and discovers a most intriguing man, who is definitely up to something.

Sir Harry Valentine works for the boring branch of the War Office, translating documents vital to national security. He's not a spy, but he's had all the training, and when a gorgeous blonde begins to watch him from her window, he is instantly suspicious. But just when he decides that she's nothing more than an annoyingly nosy debutante, he discovers that she might be engaged to a foreign prince, who might be plotting against England. And when Harry is roped into spying on Olivia, he discovers that he might be falling for her himself . . .

I happen to think What Happens in London is a very average book. It has average characters with average writing, with an average... well, average everything. The characters are so forgettable, I've actually forgotten the hero's name. This almost never happens... well, unless the characters are forgettable.

I do remember Olivia Bevelstoke as the heroine. She's pretty and as as a pretty girl in London during the regency times, she has to hide the fact that she has a brain. But she meets the unnamed hero (all right, I'll look up his name for you..!) in a very unsmart, albeit funny, manner: hearing rumors that hero might be a psychopathic killer prompts her to spy on him when he moves in next to her.

He catches her spying on him, they are acquainted, and then somehow, he ends up being her bodyguard. The details are failing me, but something about one of Olivia's suitors (a Russian prince!) being suspicious... in any case, they're around each other all the time and the flames of passion ignite!

Other than the entertaining way in which she spies on hero, I can't remember any significant things about the story... other than the fact that Olivia and hero's sex scene (you know, that ultimate, cataclysmic scene in which both realize they've found the love of each others' lives because of the amazing sex and etc) is the worst sex scene I've ever read. It's worse than an unwritten sex scene (in which you imagine hero and heroine has a soul-shattering moment) and this scene, readers, was so laughable and uncool, I promptly forgot why I found it so horrible; I'm only left with the thought of, 'Worst sex scene ever!!'

I think this is a good place to say that I'm not a huge fan of Ms. Quinn's writing style.
She aims for the cutesy, witty, intelligent style that is lacking in details (of all kinds, including characters, plot, setting...) and fails to be humorous. It just... tries too hard? is unfunny? witty but not really witty? If paired with a decent plot (I did enjoy her The Lost Duke of Wyndham and Mr. Cavendish, I Presume though it had the same unfunny writing style) I think the book is enjoyable enough, but without it, the book is just an average read.

With that, I'll end this very average book review.

Oh! While searching for the book's synopsis, Amazon tells me hero's name is Mr. Harry Valentine. Ah yes... Harry Valentine...

Jill Barnett: Wild

Wild: C
Teleri of the Woods & Roger FitzAlan


Wales is a wild place in 1280. Sir Roger FitzAlan is there by order of the King, commanded to build a mighty walled castle to defend England's borders. But the site the King has chosen has a strange circle of massive blue stones and when Sir Roger and his men arrive, a beautiful young woman is praying within the ancient circle.

Even more arresting, the young woman flees from Roger's men astride a sleek black Arab stallion stolen from Roger's best friend nearly five years before. Roger gives chase and before long, the black Arab and Roger's mount leave his men-at-arms far behind. When the woman disappears into a thick wood, Roger follows her alone and quickly loses her. But someone else is in the deep woods, and that someone is intent on killing Roger.

Teleri of the Woods is delighted to have lost her pursuer and it isn't until the following day, when she returns to search for her lost pouch, that she discovers Roger, barely alive, and struggles to rescue him. Roger awakens in her bed, cranky, furious, and too ill to leave. Forced to remain with the beautiful young woman, he slowly becomes aware of the world about him in a way he has never known. Despite Teleri's lack of gold and possessions, she is rich in knowledge and appreciation of life.

As Teleri teaches Roger about her life, he's forced to confront his lust for her and his prior beliefs about love. But their time together in the magic woods must come to an end and when it does, what will Roger do about the forbidden love that once ruled him? How will Teleri cope with life beyond her enchanted woods? And how will they solve the dark mysteries that swirl around Roger and threaten both their lives?... (amazon)

Teleri's story is kind-of Sleeping-Beauty-esque but without the great singing skills (and the whole pricking her finger deal.) She finds Sir Roger FitzAlan, a knight, badly injured and nurses him back to health. Roger, a redhead (thought I’d mention it), has been burned by his previous love and takes him some time to appreciate and fall in love with Teleri.

Cleo and her man from the previous novel, Wonderful, make an appearance – and the “crazy old woman” from the first story is actually Teleri’s grandmother.

This story is filled with two minor mysteries – the question of who tried to kill Roger and the unsolved mystery of who Teleri’s father is.

This book is nice… but nothing spectacular. I also don’t like redheaded heroes much. And I wonder how Teleri is able to communicate and behave so well with Roger when she has spent her entire life along in the woods. Granted, she did have interactions with her grandmother, but really, is it plausible to think that she’d be able to magically fall in love?

Oh wait, this is a romance… (lol.)

However, I did really like her (er, Roger's) horse...

Gaelen Foley: Princess

Princess: C

Princess Serafina & Darius Santiago
Ascension Trilogy #2

Imperious and beautiful, Princess Serafina has loved Darius Santiago, the king's most trusted warrior, since she was a child. But Darius was plucked from the gutter by the king to be trained as a spy, and although he loves Serafina beyond reason, he conceals his heart for he believes his background forbids a union between them. When Serafina is betrothed to a ruthless Russian aristocrat in a bargain that gains her tiny island kingdom protection from Bonaparte's armies, Darius intervenes to save her. His actions set in motion a sequence of events that will challenge the strength of their love and threaten their lives as well as the survival of the kingdom.

This energetic plot has the hero and heroine poised on the razor's edge of physical danger at the same time they're struggling to trust each other with the deepest secrets of their hearts. The supporting cast of secondary characters is excellent, especially the members of the heroine's family. Their normalcy provides a stark contrast to the hero, whose childhood of neglect and abuse has left scars and built emotional walls that only the heroine's love may heal. (amazon)

Princess Serefina has known Darius Santiago all her life…and has been in love with him most of the time. She knew that she would always be his when he risked his life to save her father’s life. However, she is in despair because Darius sees her as the young, spoiled daughter of his boss.

Darius Santiago is Ascension’s top and most trusted spy. As a young child, the King Lazar and Queen Allegra took him in and raised him; going out and completing dangerous missions is the only way for him to redeem himself and to show everyone that he is doing something worthwhile with his life. To his horror, he falls in love with Serafina, putting him in an awful position – there is no way he is worthy enough to marry Serafina. Darius is a “fabulous” tortured hero and the demons he faces are more than trivialities.

When Serafina is betrothed to a Russian count, Darius is furious. The King has arranged the marriage because of the fear of Napoleon – if Napoleon attacks, the Russians are the only ones with enough man-power to protect the small island of Ascension. However, Darius discovers some unpleasant discoveries about the Russian and Darius is dead set Serafina marrying him.

So he comes up with a plan to rescue Serafina from the marriage.

But before he leaves, he and Serafina admit their feelings to each other and cause a bunch of ruckus.

With the classis male I’m-not-good-enough-for-her syndrome and the classic female I-don’t-care-about-anyone-but-you counter-attack, this tale is full of hot scenes, of fluttery, flowery dialog, and of love.

I love the ending where Darius finally realizes his self-worth, when he finally stands up to King Lazar and I especially love it when Serafina walks into the room and shows Darius that she will always love him, no matter what. It is very sigh-worthy.

But as it is with most books, there were some things that did not click with me.

I did think “jailbait” while reading most of the book because Serafina is twenty and Darius is thirty-four. Plus, he’s known her since she was four. He’s literally seen her grow up. That’s kind of like… him being there, like her father was there. Fatherly figure? Icck! I know it was normal for young young girls to marry old old men, but something about it still gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Second, Ms. Foley is very flowery with her dialog. Some of the things that Darius is to have said to Serafina had me snorting. Men don’t really say things like that, especially not while doing the hanky panky. (…do they??)

Third, Serafina grows in the story, but I still thought that she was a spoiled, pampered princess. She acted like she was a child for most of the book and when she commits the unthinkable (because she doesn’t want to lose Darius), I was grimacing. But! the internal struggles of both Serafina and Darius are believable and intricate – they deal with their problems separately, then finally deal with it together.

Fun read – A good sequel to The Pirate Prince, I would probably continue reading the last of the series, Prince Charming.

Note: I didn’t realize that we were introduced to Darius in the first of the trilogy. He is the boy that Lazar brought home, which means that the current King and Queen were the hero and heroine of the first book…

I read The Pirate Prince well over a year ago, so I don’t remember much of it. But those of you who like to read series in order, definitely read The Pirate Prince first!

Jill Barnett: Wonderful

Wonderful: C
Only mildly wonderful.

After too many years on the battlefield, Merrick de Beaucourt is looking forward to a simple life of peace and quiet with a docile wife at his side. But when he finally fetches his bride-to-be from a secluded English convent, he finds he needs more than his knight’s spurs to bring order to his life.

When she was betrothed at fifteen to the legendary English knight she had never met, Lady Clio of Camrose believed that love was something magical. But her youthful hopes faded as she languished in a convent for six long years, never hearing a word from Merrick.

Weary of war, Lord Merrick finds little peace guarding the wild Welsh borders, and even less with the wife whose trust he destroyed. But as Lady Clio comes to understand the dark knight she so blindly wed, she sees a chance to make her dreams come true. Amid the enchanted mists that envelop Camrose Castle, they will battle together to discover a place where all things are possible, even a love that is rare and wonderful.

Other than the premise of the story being intriguing (a pissed off bride because her fiancé was scum and he didn’t marry her after the promised four years), the book was just a nice read – highly forgettable. In fact, it was so forgettable that a couple days after I had read it, I had to go back and skim the story in order to write this review (I had forgotten the details of the story – the middle and ending…)

Merrick rushes to the convent to fetch his beloved bride and realizes that she’s gone. She’s pissed as heck and she, being the spunky, sassy heroine, rushes to Camrose Castle all by herself. Merrick is pissed, but he can’t say much to Clio since she’s even more pissed.

So there they are, wife-and-husband-to-be, both peeved.

Merrick realizes that Clio is a beautiful, lively woman and Clio realizes Merrick is handsome and cold – from all the years of fighting. Without intending to, Merrick finds himself attracted to Clio and feels himself slowly falling in love with her. When she gets shot with the arrow by the rebel Welshmen, he feels anger as he’s never felt before.

Strangely enough, they don’t wed until 3/4 of the book has passed. They live in the same castle, but decide not to wed…and I’m not sure why. (I probably forgot the explanation that Barnett gives). Maybe they want to get to know each other. Maybe he wants to stay a bachelor a little while longer.

While they wait out their wedding, Clio makes her ale, something she’s been doing since she was at the convent, and strives to make the Heather Ale, a type of ale that has *secret* powers. Merrick, of course, doesn’t like Clio making ale and tries to stop her and all that jazz.

Eventually they wed, no surprise there, and the king – who highly favors Merrick – bring with him a crudload of treasures and wealth; Merrick no longer has to work in order to receive his pay! Yay. So they wed, finally do the bedroom hanky-panky. I’ll give Clio this much – I really like the way she “gives” herself up. It was really touching and different from the usual.

Then rebel Welshmen attack while Merrick is away. They get inside the castle, Merrick returns, is horrified, tries to breach it. While saving Clio, a piece of the moat falls on him and the unthinkable happens! (Read book to find out, but don’t lose sleep over trying to find out what happens to Merrick. It’s a romance).

Wonderful is nice, but nothing incredibly special.

Tara Janzen: Crazy Hot

Crazy Hot: C

Love has never been this wild.
This Dangerous.
This Hot.

Only the most dire emergency could send paleontologist Regan McKinney racing across the West in search of a man. But her grandfather has vanished, and Quinn Younger could be the missing link. What the bad-boy-turned-American-hero is doing in a deserted tumbleweed town is an even bigger mystery…until danger trails Regan into Cisco, Utah, and the sexy air-force pilot becomes her sole hope of survival…

And thus starts Janzen’s Crazy series. It seems as if Ms. Janzen is in over her head, bringing in paleontologists, chop shop ex-juvie boys, and Special Defense Forces (a special, super-elite group of the CIA…or FBI), but amazingly enough, the plotlines come together in a rather jumbled sort of way.

Regan McKinney is in search of her aging grandfather and ventures to Cisco, Utah in order to find him. Instead, she finds sexy Quinn Younger, the boy whose had a crush on her ever since he walked in on her almost naked body while he and the other chop shop juvie boys were serving their penance by working for her grandfather. (Confused yet?)

Meanwhile, Regan’s grandfather, Wilson, discovers an exotic species of Tarbosaurus eggs – intact and fossilized. Because Quinn’s team of Special Op Forces require Wilson’s expertise on a boatload of old bones they’ve intercepted (accidentally) while trying to intercept guns, missiles, and other weapons.

The bad guys come in when it is found that the Tarbosaurus eggs are encased in diamonds – the diamonds that the bad guys want.

So it’s with that Regan and Quinn are heading back to Colorado in Quinn’s sexy car. In between chasing after the bad guys, making hot and crazy love, going to Steele Street, Denver CO, it’s almost too much.

The bad guys aren’t quite bad enough to be intriguing, and the story long and roundabout. The chemistry between the hero and heroine was there, but something was missing to keep the reader’s interest.

However, the one thing that saved Crazy Hot was the introduction of Regan’s crazy little sister Nikki and Peter “Kid Chaos” Chronopolous. Their meeting, though it was several pages, was enough to make the reader want more. It came to the point where all I wanted to do was skim through the pages with the bones, the grandfather, Regan and Quinn, and snuggle up to the secondary story with Nikki and Kid.