Siri Mitchell: A Constant Heart

A Constant Heart: DNF
Some girl and some guy


Y'all know how hard I try not to be a hater.
I try hard.
Really hard.

Well, actually, that's a lie. I don't try hard when the writer writes something that is complete monkey poop.

In most cases, I force myself to read half the book before I toss it out the window. I got about twenty pages in when, in exasperation, I banged my head on the desk several times. So not only did I have a bitter mental experience from reading this book, I had a large forehead-bruise to show for it.

A Constant Heart takes place in the medieval times, when ladies and gentlemen paid their respects to the King or Queen by going to court.

Some Girl, with the face of an angel, is to marry Some Guy... an earl, if I'm remembering correctly. She is well prepared for the task, but is still scared, reasonably so.

Some Guy is some earl who has had a very bad experience of marriage because of the cheating ways of his first wife. He is determined to hate everything about Some Girl and Some Girl's business, and every aspect of married life.. better yet, he doesn't even want to marry her. He just needs her dowry to buy back his family's estate.

So off starts their brilliant and very charming marriage. Then they go to court. Some Girl is scared and she discovers that the Queen hates her. We don't know why. (Actually, it's just me since I didn't finish..)

Not so bad of a start to a medieval romance, you might be thinking.

Do not be fooled!

It was the writing style of the book that threatened to eat my soul. It is a book written in the first person POV, which normally doesn't bother me at all.

However, it switches off between Some Guy and Some Girl's point of view... indistinguishably! It would switch off between the Some Girl's first person POV and then Some Guy's.

This is an example and interpretation of a scene from the book and what Alice was thinking as she read through this jungle of point-of-views.


I was unhappy.
I was unhappy at the world and everything that was happening. Did I do something wrong? What was I doing wrong? I needed to talk to someone... I knew this wasn't a good idea.
Alice: who is talking?

--

I was unhappy. Was this supposed to be happening? Unfortunately for the both of us, we were in this situation whether we liked it or not. It would be in our interest to make the best of everything.
Alice: Right. Unhappy. Who??

--

Unhappy. I'm unhappy.

Alice: I'm unhappy too. Who are you?

---

Unhappy.
I wished I had never married. I wanted to talk to my best friend (insert Another Girl's name).
Alice: We know that both of them are unhappy, damn it! Who the he--... oh.... *reads Another Girl's name)... this is Some Girl!

*Goes back up to the very front of the page to reread, keeping in mind that the first person who talked had been Some Girl.*

Now imagine doing this every two or three pages. The little dotted line (---) indicated a change in the perspective, but never revealed who was talking. The font was the same. The color of the font was the same. The I's and you's were the same.

And when a new chapter began (every two or three pages), sometimes it was the POV of the person who had been talking/ thinking at the end of the previous chapter... or it was the start of the other person's POV.

You had to read in order to figure out who was talking, and then go back to re-read everything in context.


How aggravating!!!!

It not only took me twice as long to read everything, I was tired of reading the same scene twice - once in Some Girl's POV and the other time in Some Guy's POV. For the love of mother earth, I don't need to know both character's thoughts for each. and. every. single. action they commit.

It's dreary. And boring. And dull. And uninteresting.


Moral of review:
If you're an author, don't write like this. It sucks.
If you're a reader, don't read this. It sucks.

Lisa Kleypas: Sugar Daddy

Sugar Daddy: A
Liberty Jones & Gage Travis

I wasn’t too tempted to read this one, but when I saw Trollop giving it praises over at The Book Bitches, I was piqued… and good thing too, because this read was so totally worth it. I keep on doing that thing where I tell myself that I’m only going to read for thirty minutes before bed, and end up staying up all night to finish the book. So the next morning, I’m in that tingly mood from having finished a good love story, but also look like shit because I got no sleep.

This novel is written in first person and tells of the life of Liberty Jones, a poor girl from a small city in Texas. (Interjection: what kind of a name is Liberty…?) She and her mom live in a trailer park where she meets endearing friends and falls in love with a boy named Hardy Cates. It tells of her first experience with makeup, the multiple boyfriends her mother had, and the relationships Liberty went through in high school. It tells of how she raises her younger sister, born when Liberty was fifteen (?), and how after their mother’s death, Liberty fights to support herself and young Carrington.

Eventually, Liberty moves to Houston to work as a hairdresser at a swanky salon where she catches the eye of bajillionaire and much older man, Churchill Travis.

At this point in the book, I was totally praying she would NOT hook up with Churchill. Liberty is approximately twenty-four years old and Churchill is fifty-something. That would have been icky.

However, Liberty and Churchill develop a very caring relationship, and when Churchill asks Liberty and Carrington to move into his house, she consents after long consideration. They continue their father-daughter relationship.

It isn’t until Liberty meets Churchill’s eldest son, Gage Travis, that sparks start to fly. (Interjection 2: And the name Gage? Kinda like, ‘I want to gage the temperature of this thermometer… that kind of gage? …weird.) He assumes she is one of his father’s “side thing,” and is a total douchebag to her. She tries to ignore him, his rudeness, and his completely dark-tall-and-handsomeness.

May I add in here that I absolutely loved the scene where Gage realizes how soft-hearted and kind Liberty is? It reminds me of Paradise when Meredith goes over to Matt’s farmhouse and he’s dying from sickness. (Note to self: if hot boy is ever dying from sickness and is in need of assistance, go over to his house ASAP. Romances indicate something poignant and amazing will happen.)

So Gage and Liberty are mightily attracted to each other, do the I-like-you tango, and have some awesome bedroom moments… when Hardy Cates shows up in his blue-eyed splendor. He is now a self-made millionaire and ten times more potent than when he was seventeen.

Liberty is confused.

Gage is pissed.

Hardy? Hardy is hot.

What to do what to do?! Which drop-dead gorgeous super-rich hunk will she pick? OH man, if only my name was Liberty Jones…

This was such a powerful read, though I wanted to read Gage’s perspectives too. What was he thinking? Was he totally drooling over beautiful Liberty? When did he really start loving her? The chemistry between Liberty and Gage is to die for and will give you shivers…

My two complaints: I wish more pages of the book were devoted to Liberty and Gage’s romance, not so much of Liberty-growing-up, even though her background helped me to understand what kind of person she was. And even though I really liked the HEA, I disliked the epilogue.

*Spoiler*

Come on, Lisa Kleypas! Liberty just spent eight or nine years raising her younger sister, who basically was Liberty’s very own baby. Why did the book have to end with Liberty getting pregnant? Doesn’t she want a freakin’ break? I would, even if it is Gage’s baby!

*End spoiler*

With that said, I heartily recommend this book. Fo’sho, it’s a satisfying (and drool-inducing) read. No kidding!

Katherine Sutcliffe: Obsession

Obsession: B
Maria Ashton & Trey Hawthorne, Duke of Salterdon

USA Today bestselling author Katherine Sutcliffe sweeps fans away to the passionate affair she began in Devotion, as one man's search for his lost love leads him to the heights of OBSESSION.

Trey Hawthorne, the Duke of Salterdon, once had a reputation that would humble the Marquis de Sade. Then he found his heart's desire in gentle, innocent Maria Ashton, whose healing touch ignited a forbidden passion between the noble duke and the lowborn vicar's daughter. Defying his family, Hawthorne intended to wed Maria -- but she mysteriously vanished before he could take her as his bride. After tirelessly searching for her for months, Trey gave up hope and reverted to his former wicked ways.

Now, chance has led Trey to his beloved at last -- but the devastating truth behind her disappearance might prove more than he can bear. As he fights to rescue his beautiful Maria from a life of torment, Trey wonders if in saving her, he will also finally save himself -- or if the fight will cost him everything....

This was a very interesting read. I wouldn’t consider it a romance. In fact, this book is probably the most unromantic romance I’ve read, even though it is about the hero and heroine – and their feelings. The closest way for me to describe this story would to call it a “gothic romance-esque story.”

It also didn’t help that this is a continuation of a story started in the first book, Devotion. This is what I get for randomly picking out authors.

In brief, the book starts out with a marriage scene in which Trey is preparing to marry a rich widow because he’s in dire need of money. He’s also really cynical, bitter, and jaded – he’s lost his love three and a half years before. It was a love that reached the bottom of his heart; when Maria disappeared, he spent six months straight searching for her and was crushed when he receives a note stating that she is married to another. So he spends the next three years whoring, gambling, and drinking.

The marriage he’s to have with Edwina, the wealthy but promiscuous widow, is a marriage of convenience: he needs her money, she needs a father for the babe in her womb.

However, as they’re about to wed, the whereabouts of Maria is revealed and he finds out that his evil grandmother had Maria locked away in an insane asylum because of Maria’s social status (she’s the daughter of a poor peasant or some low class worker). When Trey finds her, she’s insane.

And for three hundred pages, we witness Maria’s insanity and Trey’s meanness as he copes with what has happened to her because of him. It’s gloomy. It’s dark. It’s depressing. But you keep reading because you’re hoping it gets better.

Then Trey discovers that when Maria was sent away by his grandmother, she was pregnant – and that the baby was taken away from her after she gave birth to it in the asylum.

When Maria finally regains her sanity, she hates Trey for everything that’s happened to her because of him and the misunderstandings that are between them, thanks to the evil grandmother.

This story is gloomy. It’s dark. It’s depressing. It drags on, telling us in great detail of how much Trey drinks, how insane Maria is, how conniving the grandmother is… it’s very Wuthering Heights-esque. It’s also unique in that the story is told from Trey’s point of view (a first person point-of-view from a male’s perspective.)

I think I would have liked this story more if I’d read Devotion. Because I didn’t, I can only guess at how much Trey loved Maria and I can only guess at what happened before to cause this situation.

The story, on its own, is a little slow… and depressing. (have I mentioned that before?) And I felt a little betrayed when Maria and Trey experience their happiness for like… three pages at the very end. I thought, “What the monkey?! I spent three hundred thirty-something pages reading about this depressing crap and I’m rewarded with a measly three pages of happiness?!”

With that said, I’ll most likely read the first book to experience the “full scope” of their love.

But I’ll give Ms. Sutcliffe credit and say that this is a very creative, unique story – in style of writing, in the presentation of the plot, and even the characters.

(In case you're wondering, I absolutely love Wuthering Heights, which is why I didn't hate this book.)